About the Yooni
Oct. 20th, 2014 05:47 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
houraipeachSo, since I realized that a lot of people who may be reading this met me after my LJ days, and probably aren't that familiar with me outside of meatspace, I figured it would be a good idea to make an introduction post.
My name is Peach Fizz, but you can just call me Peach! I'm an alchemist and sorceress by trade, and a knight and soldier by nature. I speak in a Dixie accent as thick as treacle, which I'm not typing out mostly because it would be a lot of extra effort.
I was born... well, 'born' is really kind of an odd subject, honestly; I've been born a couple different times, but the most significant one would probably put me as being born in the American South of the planet Terra, in the Solar year of 1987. A lot of bad things happened to me in general, but then I fixed myself, and here I am! As to age... you can probably think of me as being anywhere between 14 and 19 Solar years old in physical terms, and anywhere between 10 and 2200 Solar years old emotionally. I've spent a lot of time outside... well, time, so it really depends upon what I feel like that given day.
If you want to know WHAT I am, that's a little more complicated. I call myself a balloonicorn for convenience, but that's shorthand. In exact nature, I am a semi-organic construct made of numerous alchemical reagents, huge amounts of sucrose, fructose, and lactose, and really quite a lot of high-strength, high-elasticity polymers. I'm still fuzzy and warm to the touch, though: I AM a pony, just a mostly-artificial one. I was something else BEFORE I was all that, of course, but it was kinda boring so I don't talk about it much. It's probably best to think of me as a golem made of moderately-toxic candy sludge; don't worry, this was entirely self-inflicted. I don't like the idea of testing anything I make on anybody but myself!
Speaking of that! Professionally, I run a candy factory, with frequent vacations taken to go tilt at windmills. I specialize in stuff that's transformative, transcendental, transfiguring, and typically absurdly bad for your figure. Or, good for your figure, really, but that's just MY point of view. We've had quite a few... happy accidents... on the factory floor, so visiting is by invitation only. On the plus side, nobody's EVER left unsatisfied! And, uh... about half of them still haven't left.
I pride myself on loyalty, empathy, and a strong work ethic. Think of me as everybody's Cool Big Sister. I am an utterly relentless friend, and I don't care what I have to do to make people around me feel safe and comfortable. Don't worry about me getting hurt; I explode myself to relax all the time. The worst a few slings and arrows are gonna do is tickle.
I don't much like bullies, personally. My favorite hobby is fixing them. How, you ask? Oh, mostly the same way I fixed myself: a tank of helium here, a few gallons of syrup there, some hexes to coat and a little touch of gentle brainwashing to finish. I may be sweet, but don't mistake that for weakness; I'm definitely hard candy, even if I do have a gooey center. I don't think anyone's beyond redemption; some folks just have to be redeemed a little more harshly than others.
I like to think I'm a pretty fun gal, honestly. I may be a LITTLE hazardous to your health, but that never hurt anybody! And I can guarantee you, I'm definitely worth the calories. I hope y'all think so too!
My name is Peach Fizz, but you can just call me Peach! I'm an alchemist and sorceress by trade, and a knight and soldier by nature. I speak in a Dixie accent as thick as treacle, which I'm not typing out mostly because it would be a lot of extra effort.
I was born... well, 'born' is really kind of an odd subject, honestly; I've been born a couple different times, but the most significant one would probably put me as being born in the American South of the planet Terra, in the Solar year of 1987. A lot of bad things happened to me in general, but then I fixed myself, and here I am! As to age... you can probably think of me as being anywhere between 14 and 19 Solar years old in physical terms, and anywhere between 10 and 2200 Solar years old emotionally. I've spent a lot of time outside... well, time, so it really depends upon what I feel like that given day.
If you want to know WHAT I am, that's a little more complicated. I call myself a balloonicorn for convenience, but that's shorthand. In exact nature, I am a semi-organic construct made of numerous alchemical reagents, huge amounts of sucrose, fructose, and lactose, and really quite a lot of high-strength, high-elasticity polymers. I'm still fuzzy and warm to the touch, though: I AM a pony, just a mostly-artificial one. I was something else BEFORE I was all that, of course, but it was kinda boring so I don't talk about it much. It's probably best to think of me as a golem made of moderately-toxic candy sludge; don't worry, this was entirely self-inflicted. I don't like the idea of testing anything I make on anybody but myself!
Speaking of that! Professionally, I run a candy factory, with frequent vacations taken to go tilt at windmills. I specialize in stuff that's transformative, transcendental, transfiguring, and typically absurdly bad for your figure. Or, good for your figure, really, but that's just MY point of view. We've had quite a few... happy accidents... on the factory floor, so visiting is by invitation only. On the plus side, nobody's EVER left unsatisfied! And, uh... about half of them still haven't left.
I pride myself on loyalty, empathy, and a strong work ethic. Think of me as everybody's Cool Big Sister. I am an utterly relentless friend, and I don't care what I have to do to make people around me feel safe and comfortable. Don't worry about me getting hurt; I explode myself to relax all the time. The worst a few slings and arrows are gonna do is tickle.
I don't much like bullies, personally. My favorite hobby is fixing them. How, you ask? Oh, mostly the same way I fixed myself: a tank of helium here, a few gallons of syrup there, some hexes to coat and a little touch of gentle brainwashing to finish. I may be sweet, but don't mistake that for weakness; I'm definitely hard candy, even if I do have a gooey center. I don't think anyone's beyond redemption; some folks just have to be redeemed a little more harshly than others.
I like to think I'm a pretty fun gal, honestly. I may be a LITTLE hazardous to your health, but that never hurt anybody! And I can guarantee you, I'm definitely worth the calories. I hope y'all think so too!
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Date: 2014-10-21 03:04 am (UTC)(Working on something similar, though I still don't have a good visual reference.)
no subject
Date: 2014-10-22 09:48 pm (UTC)